Here it is...

I've said this before.  I have a Dr Pepper addiction.  I do.  I'll spare you ALL the details and just share a few :)  Tyler and I went to a combined Relief Society/Priesthood meeting together one Sunday on addiction.  I laughed so hard through most of it.  Hearing the speaker describe what is considered 'addiction' is something I had to rethink.  Oh my.  Funny.  I had an addiction!  Like in a totally depressing kind of way.  HA!  So that was back in, like, September.  Then fast forward a few months.  I started to realize several things.  I get that soda, especially dark and caffeinated soda, is super bad for you.  I know.  What I didn't realize is how hard it is on my body . . . all the way around.  What the sugar and acid does to my joints, specifically.  IT SUCKS!  It sucks because know I have to do something about it, right?  I make my living off my physical well being.  Teaching dance and aerobics.  If my body breaks down, I can't do my job.  SOOOOO, here we are.  Me knowing that I have to cut soda out of my life.  LIFE.  It sounds so permanent!  Totally scary!  And soda is a total mental crutch for me.  I didn't realize that until Christmas break.  When I'm upset or annoyed I go grab a soda.  When I'm tired or bored, I go grab a soda.  When I'm super stressed . . . soda.  Okay, not SODA, but Dr Pepper.  In all of those situations and countless other ones.

Here's the good news:  I have a plan :)  I do.  I've 'tried quitting' drinking soda lots and lots and lots of times.  My family hates when I do that.  They ask me not to.  I hope I have come to the center of why I haven't made it through.  I shall explain, because I'm sure you care . . . or else why would you still be reading?  Haha!  Okay, so I think that I have failed because I always think that I'm 'tough' enough to quit cold turkey.  Let me tell you what happens:  Head.  Aches.  Oh, my headaches.  Ya, like a weeks worth of migraine headaches isn't awful enough?  Let me tell you, it wasn't the worst part.  I stop sleeping.  Because I have no sugar/caffeine crash, I can't go to sleep.  Then what do I want ALL DAY?!  Dr Pepper.  Yes, thank you.  There's also (and I think this is the worst part for me) the total confusion in my body without so many extra calories.  I EAT EVERYTHING.  The last time I 'quit drinking soda', I gained like five pounds because I ate so much.  So.  Hungry.  Oh, and I'm a total grump.  Because I don't have my crutch to run to, I take those emotions on everyone around me.  It's not fun.  Okay, so the PLAN:  I'm gonna take a couple of months to wean myself off of it.  I'm not going to lie:  I'm scared to do this.  I'm scared because I know that I can't cheat.  I'm an all or nothing girl and if I have a cheat, I'll jump off that wagon like it's a burning train headed right for me.  I'm scared for those days that 'I just don't care' (I had one of those days yesterday and drank about 3 times my daily ration.  Not even kidding.)  I'm two weeks in to my rationing and I've only had 2 days of those 14 in which I didn't care and drank what I wanted.  Argh.  I'm giving myself six more weeks to somehow conquer myself.  Hm.

Okay, I do want to point out one thing.  I don't care about losing weight.  That has NOTHING, and mean not one iota to do with this.  It's totally a health thing.  I have love handles.  I have a booty that shakes when I stop moving.  I have what appears to be golf balls shoved under the skin of my thighs.  Ya, I do.  I don't care.  I was nervous about what would happen if I lose weight . . . if my dance students would think I've gone on a diet.  But I've decided that if I do lose some weight at some point, that's what happens when you make healthy choices.  Healthy. 

Whoop, there it is!  That's all I have to say for now.  I have a lot of determination here, so I'm gonna just think that I've got this in the bag :)